Friday, October 12, 2007

Is anybody up there??

Whatever happens.....happens for a reason they say... Who is behind whatever happens to us?? Good or bad... is it destined for us or is somebody up there, who makes it happen? Is it coz of Him we lose people, is it coz of Him people die? People hurt one another? People hate people? Why is that a man wakes up one morning to find out his wife left him for somebody else? Why is that a woman finds out that she gave birth to a dead baby? Why is that a girl realises that her boyfriend is going to marry someone else? If someone is really UP there then why does man have to go through pain, betrayal, agony, depression, hurt? Why can't He (or She...whoever up there is watching upon us) stop bad things from happening? Why can't everyone have enough strength and courage to live on their own? Why does He want us to be dependent on people/things? Why do we have to go through bad times to get to good ones? Coz we'll get to appreciate the good times more, or else we'll end up taking things for granted? How did these things come about.... being taken for granted... being used... getting hurt... losing... failure.. If God is really perfect, why didn't he make a perfect world? Why does our world have so many flaws?

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Me, Myself & Ego

The world seems dark... and the winter arriving makes it more glum. People fighting, people dying, people hating each other for no apparent reason. People being taken for granted, people falling sick, people not ready to help each other, people not ready to care for each other. Is this what the world is coming to? Or is something that I only feel? Have I started relating my life with the world? If yes then is it wrong to do so? Should I just search my happiness within me or with the few people who care for me? Will I be happy when I keep people happy? Or will I be able to keep people happy when I am happy?
Ten years from now, I may not remember what's making me sad now. If it doesn't hold that much significance then why should I get affected by it now? It's always the happy memories that stay with us, then why do the bad times keep haunting me?
Each day is the first day for the rest of our lives, then why do I bother about what happened in the past? Why can't I burn it or flush it down or just trash it away? Why does my heart want to cling?
Am I too weak to win against myself? Or am I too strong that I win against myself. Me and myself, why is the 'me' whacked off' from the 'myself'?
Is it too hard to balance both of them, to keep them contented?
What do I need to do to harmonize me and myself?
Is there some third person that's stopping me? That's not allowing me to let go? Is my ego so huge that it's destroying my relationship with myself?
Is it my ego that's stopping me to stay happy? Is it my ego that can't see me and myself together? Is it me that's hating myself or is it the ego? Is it me against myself or my ego against myself?

Why is that I don't recognise myself in the mirror? Why is that that I don't recognise me in my thoughts? Is this because of the ego too? Or is all this just my idle brain's work? Just another phase?

Sunday, September 30, 2007


It feels good to be well again..... I had the official loooong break....

Actually it didn't start off well... when your body's at a high temperature for days and all you can put down your throat is a few sips of water.. and then the injections... To make it worse from bad, i couldn't utter a word from my mouth.

I'd almost forgotten what it was to be keep lying down on the bed for hours and hours. When you are too weak to even thank your flatmates who give you cold compresses. When you feel so lonely that the moment you hear mom's voice on the feel like crying. When you get up at 4'o clock in the morning just to discover you again have a high temperature.. and then it gets all the more difficult to sleep . When you try hard to think of happy days to put your self to sleep. When all you crave for is your mom's hand stroking your hair and holding your hand while you sleep.

It's at times like these when I miss home terribly, much more when I miss homemade food. It's at times like these I wish I didn't stay so far from home. It's at times like these when you can differentiate.. people who care for you for yourself and people who care for you for themselves.

Maybe this was His sign, that I better start caring for myself, my body, my health lest I end up regretting it when I get old.

Here's to a healthier me.....Cheers!!

Sunday, September 9, 2007

Instructions Manual

If only I was born with one! An instructions manual. I could easily refer to it whenever I cannot handle things on my own. When I can't study... When I break a promise... When am unwell... When I have bad hair day.. When I let a loved one down... When I can't decide right from wrong... When I can't come up with something worth writing..When I can't sleep.... When I'm unsure as to how to start a conversation.. When I'm unsure as to how to apologize.. When I mess up my room every second day... When I hate getting up in the morning.. When I end up dressing badly... When I can't decide on the perfect gift... When I get nightmares.. When I don't know how to end a fight.. When I am confused as to how to confess... When I get even more confused about my career... When I end up making a fool of myself... When I start 'feeling' fat... When I'm unhappy.
An instructions manual, would've helped me live better.. But then it would've turned me into a robot... So I guess I shouldn't be complaining for being a human.... Life may not be easy, but I do get to live on my own and not bother about following a handbook.

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Life Under Maintenance

It's been ages since I've put down a new post... reasons? life's under maintenance ;)
guess I should start wearing this sign around my neck too... so that everyone can be warned beforehand !!

September 5th, Teacher's Day.
Seems I get nostalgic very easily these days... it was so much fun preparing for this day in school.. we loved presenting a show.... fast forward..4th year engineering.. you don't find teachers worth spending your time 'n energy over...yea yea.. i know..they do the same..spend time 'n energy over us... while soring their vocal chords till it becomes unbearable for us students to hear them. Alright, I shouldn't be so rude atleast on this day.. CHEERS!!

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Jayaa Hey

15th August,2007. Happy 60th Birthday India!!

I've not been really good at remembering the names of the freedom fighters, the historic dates, the pacts signed, the deals sealed.
Felt like taking a stroll down memory lane... back when I was in school. I didn't realise I would miss celebrating this day until I passed out school. The early mornings...dressed in crisp white uniforms... glad for not carrying any bulky school bags.. on the way could see autos decorated in garlands... all crossroad circles decorated with lights...and when we entered the school campus...those patriotic songs blaring from the big big speakers... the stage all ready for the function... we assembled according to our classes...the Principal greeting us..the Father's Prayer....and then the drill began...standing in attention...the Sister Principal hoisting the flag...the national anthem...then the small skit...more patriotic songs...the chocolates... smiling faces!!
Here's to all those who made it possible for us to see Independent India... here's to all those who fought till their last's to all those who got our country's to all of's to each Indian.
Jai Hind!

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Little things that make me happy*

I got the idea to write this while getting into the lift today... It's relieving to come home after a tiring day at college..the sticky humid weather..the scorching heat... ready to drop on the bed...and the minute you come near the find it at ground floor... that may not sound so wonderful to some of the people...but ask anyone who has a similar routine!!
I try to put down the little things that make me happy... bear with this in the "happy" phase today ;)

  • Talking to my 6 yr old cousin
  • Getting a lecture off
  • Friday nights
  • Dipping in the pool
  • Smell of the rain
  • A fresh clean laundry smelling of the sun
  • A good net speed
  • Shopping (now that's a big high!)
  • Playing with dogs
  • Talking to an old friend
  • Listening to old favourite songs
  • School Re-unions
  • Finding a good friend online
  • A good hair day
  • A dish turned out delicious
  • Mushy mushy movies
  • A favourite song on the radio
  • A whole bar of chocolate
  • A trip to home after a long time
  • Getting an unexpected hug
  • Giving an unexpected hug
  • A compliment from someone that matters
  • Loads of balance on cell
  • Orange bar on a hot summer day
  • A warm blanket on a chilly winter night
  • Cold coffee
  • Birthday cakes
  • Long drives
  • Sitting on the terrace
  • Cracking a good joke
  • Home cooked food
  • Double cheese pizza
  • A good night's sleep
  • A good novel
  • Falling asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow
  • Surprises
  • Book fair
  • Unexpected holidays
  • Shoes that fit
  • Family
  • Sleepovers
*The list has been updated since it was first published.

Pic has been taken from here.

Tuesday, August 7, 2007


That's what I feel like when I'm in a bad mood....swearing!!!

Bad habit I know... well I've tried many putting my face into a pillow and screaming HARD or listening to blaring music or I sleep or I just writing down right now!!

I'm blank now....don't know what to put down....there's so much going on in my head.. My life's a big "?"

There's a time in everybody's life when they are unsure about what to seems as if that time keeps on recurring in my life again and again. Not that I'm fed up with it or complaining, it's just that I'm unable to find answers and even when I do, I have no idea whether I am right or wrong. Well like I say....this too shall pass. Till then, Hallelujah... give me oil in my lamp, keep me burning. Amen!

Monday, August 6, 2007

100 good things that happened to me at College **

  1. Room Nos.3 & 120 & 116
  2. Walks
  3. Gustakh dil
  4. Horseback riding
  5. Fresher's Night
  6. New year's eve (04 'n 05)
  7. Peepleez
  8. Trekkings
  9. Movies in Auditorium
  10. Mess dinners (well it didn't seem good back then, but thinking about it now I do miss them)
  11. The weekly outings
  12. Midnight birthday bashes
  13. Swati's handmade cakes ;)
  14. Hostel meals
  15. Hanuman Ji ki thadi ke paranthe 'n bhurji
  16. JP dinners
  17. Bikaner 'n Kota trips
  18. Movies at EP
  19. Mc D at M.I. Road
  20. Natraj :)
  21. Indian Spice
  22. Monsoons on the campus (sniff sniff!)
  23. The early trips to GT
  24. Veer Zaara : those who saw it with me (along with the whole hostel at Raj Mandir) will know the reason
  25. Room 11 of the academic block
  26. The Sunday Special chhole bhature 'n alloo ke paranthe
  27. Early morning view...
  28. Late night view
  29. Watching movies on a rented T.V. (from Eyes wide shut to Rakht to Hannibal)
  30. Posing for Amity brochure... (till date it seems really silly!)
  31. PJs ( From the virtuosos Ankit & Swati & Smriti)
  32. Karaoke nights
  33. Late night swimming pool sessions
  34. Addiction to shopping [ Ahem....window shopping will be more like it ;) ]
  35. Blogging
  36. E1 block, Amity Noida
  37. D block cafeteria
  38. The thadi special chhole kulche and fruit juice
  39. Summer Internship presentation ( The funniest presentation I've ever given)
  40. Major Project ( Ha ha... far away I can still hear Hemant cursing us!)
  41. Thalis at Yatra
  42. B-402, Express Green ki nautanki
  43. Learning to ride a bike
  44. The mouth watering Diwali 'n Holi dinners at Express Green
  45. The sleepovers
  46. The bonfires
  47. Celebrating Eid
  48. Late night talks in the balcony
  49. The good ol' trustworthy Mc D!

** will be updated

Saturday, August 4, 2007

~Karaoke Nights~

an act of singing along to a music video, esp. one from which the original vocals have been electronically eliminated

For me it's the perfect thing to do when you are feeling gloomy... singing at the top of your voice with galfriends....not worrying about the notes/pitch... just crooning with all your strength.. try it and am sure you'll sleep with a smile on your face, if not that then atleast an aching throat ;)

Songs worth karaoke'ing *

# Chop Suey- System of a Down

# Hips don't lie- Shakira

# Do you know- Enrique

# She will be loved- Maroon Five

# Another brick in the wall- Pink Floyd

# Hotel California- Eagles

# It's my life- Bon Jovi

*Will be updated every friday night. Till then, Happy Karaoke'ing!!

Thursday, August 2, 2007

I'm smiling again!

It just takes little things to put a smile on your face... may it be a cute little pug or a giggling baby...or even a nice weather.
First day of the college.... In the first class itself, I wished it had been my last day in the college.. 6 months later, all of a sudden the place seemed new and strange. Somehow living through the last 10 months of my college life seemed such a difficult task. Supposedly the "best days of my life"... my final year felt like a burden. But I guess someone up there didn't think so and signalled, all you need to get you going is a change of mood and you can end up looking forward to life. Little drizzle... dark sky... eagles flying low (do they have a gift to predict the weather?)... cool breeze....silly talks with gal friends.. splashing in the pool ( all dressed!!)....hoping for a heavy shower... and I realise I'm smiling again... or rather laughing uncontrollably. And my heart's happy again. All it took was a change of mood to lift up my spirits.
The only disadvantage of splashing in the pool is that you get really hungry... but the few extra pounds don't matter when you are elated.

The monsoons are a reminder that I'm blessed!!

Tuesday, July 31, 2007


My second attempt on metamorphism begins...

I try to work on the jigsaw God has gifted me with.. planning to put everything in the right place. It's just another phase of life to say so... just another day... just another season...another house...another semester.. few people less.. few memories more... few kilos more :) .... a new determination... a new plan to work on d game of life.. less expectations...less grudges.. a new hope....a new determination....a new path.... and a new me.

Friday, July 20, 2007

It's a brand new day..!

Alright.... I finally begin blogging, have created the profile long back but didn't really make the effort to write the blogs. I'd forgot how easy it used to be to pen down thoughts.... somehow the writer( he he...) got lost in the midst of the various phases I went through in the past three years... from leaving home, starting college, living out... writing slipped down on my priority list. Well here I am, this is me.... I can think of many other places I'd rather be ;)


  • and to keep myself active and
  • to prevent life from getting tangled every third day
  • to get up early
  • to sleep not so late
  • to take care of my health
  • to do things that make me happy
  • to study ( guess I should've put this as the first one)
  • to bitch a little less
  • to read a little more
  • to stay happy come what may
  • to keep my cool
  • to save money/electricity/water/food/everything that I can
  • to take decisions on my own
  • to stand up for my rights :D
  • to stop swearing
  • to keep pledging.....


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